Kids! Do NOT try this in 2018!

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Computerworld -

Fresh-from-school pilot fish gets a job as a network administrator in the late 1980s that includes importing data from 9-track tapes to a newfangled relational database — preferably using Fortran.

“My manager was taught and knew Fortran, so that’s what I had to learn,” says fish. “I picked it up and was able to write code to read in the tapes, but it was very painstaking.

“I thought C would be better suited to the task, since it handled character strings better than Fortran, so I went about the task of teaching myself C. I thought, what better way to do it

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